This is the first post in my modified version of the 30-day challenge. Some of the topics on the list are quite personal. I don’t know why I have such an aversion to personal posts but I’ll try my best to write on them anyway.
A rough guide to winning my heart
I know what I like and dislike in people and particularly what I find attractive in love interests so I thought it would be easy to come up with 5 tips for winning my heart but when I actually sat down to write it, I found myself stuck. I only then realised that I had no clarity on what exactly a person had to do to work their way into my affections. I know what kind of person I like but it’s much harder translating that idea into concrete points. After quite some thought I was able to come up with a few but here are the top 5:
1. Show that you care – there’s no quicker way to demonstrate that you are into me than by listening to me. The more enthusiastic you seem to hear what it is on my mind, the more it encourages me to share with you and it doesn’t even matter what the topic is. It gets even better if you take note of things I mention as important to me and do something with that. Say for example I mention food items I like, e.g. carrots, and the next time I come to visit I find that you have stocked up on those things, you’d better believe that I’ll notice. I can live without grand gestures but little things really make an impression. If you’re not sure what you’re doing, just ask. I care much more that you are thinking about it than about the element of surprise.
2. Be considerate – I love when people think about the impact of their actions on me. It makes me feel valued to know that you have considered my perspective and priorities before deciding how to act in any given situation. Don’t think of me last or make me an after-thought. Kindness goes hand in hand with being considerate and scores major points with me. I’m not interested in someone that’s too macho to be kind to me and other people around them.
3. Pay attention to small details – I’m generally not a loud person so I don’t tend to insist on things over and over. If I say something a few times and notice that it is ignored, I won’t necessarily make a fuss about it but I will look elsewhere to get that need met since I feel that I cannot rely on you for that. When this happens too many times it eventually ends up in me sorting myself out without reference to you. If you notice me withdrawing it probably means you’ve missed a few big cues along the way. I don’t want to have to shout, scream or act out before you take me seriously.
4. Be responsible and organised – if I had to choose a mantra at this point in my life it would be either of: ‘I need a plan’ or ‘don’t just say it, show me the plan’. Now it doesn’t mean that I expect you to have everything perfectly figured out in advance but I’m not one for ‘pie in the sky’ visions. So while I get excited about dreams and will not object to doing things spontaneously, I also want to see that you’ve thought through what you’re proposing and you have an idea of what it would take to make it a reality. This means that you have to be somewhat organised and on the ball.
On responsibility, I absolutely adore a person that can step up to the plate when it comes to taking care of himself and other people in his life. I don’t enjoy living in a situation where everything falls on my shoulders and if I don’t bring it up, nobody thinks about what needs to get done. This point becomes very important when it comes to the issue of household chores e.g. cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, taking care of money and bills etc. I will not be keen to get into a serious relationship with you if I think I’ll end up with the bulk of the work of making our lives run smoothly. I find self mastery very attractive. I’m not the kind of girl that goes for helpless guys who depend on me for everything. You’re not a child and I’m not your mother. Let’s not go down that road.
5. Be confident in yourself and passionate about life – I respect a person who’s confident but not arrogant. For me this means that he knows what he likes, he knows what he’s about and he’s dedicated to pursuing that and having a good time too. I like trying new things and having new experiences so I get excited when I meet people who share that attitude.
What do you think of my 5?